The Third Expedition to Zaqistan

The Third Expedition to Zaqistan departed Los Angeles, California on June 24, 2007. Picking up National T-Shirt Advisor Jeffrey Sisson outside of Sacramento, the Expedition was underway by June 25, 2007.

The mission was two-fold, to establish a semi-perminant outpost to provide shelter and shade for the present and future, and to try and access Zaqistan by motor vehicle. The Expedition was successful on both accounts, but as with the Second Expedition, not without difficulty. The overland route to Zaqistan is passable, but barely. The Expedition's Toyota Sienna mini-van cruised down ten miles of dirt road and then valiantly plowed through several miles of desert brush before bedding down for the night.

The expedition continued on the next day reaching the mud flats of the Newfoundland Evaporation Basin. Although free from the uneven field of desert bush, the flats presented new problems, for the van ran aground on a mostly dried up stream bed. Mired in mud for several hours Landsberg and Sisson resorted to a combination of jacking the van up, digging the wheels out, shoving wood boards, cardboard, floor mats and anything else that would give any sort of traction under the wheels. Finally after taking all the seats and cargo out of the van and calling on every ounce of their cunning, ingenuity and patience they succeeded dislodging the van and continued on to Zaqistan.

National T-Shirt Advisor Jeff Sisson sits in front of the hole where the van got stuck

Landsberg and Sisson arrived at the homeland to find one of the Robotic Sentinels still standing (albeit missing a head) and the other two toppled over. Despite spending over 10 months in the harsh desert they had only suffered relatively minor damage. Once there, Landsberg and Sisson assembled a geodesic dome out of steel piping. Draped in camouflage netting, adorned with mannequin legs and equipped with a hammock, the completion of the first and only building in Zaqistan was done by dusk on June, 26 2007. Landsberg and Sisson then preceded to celebrate by drinking the National Beverage, Dude Brew, and engaging in the National Pastime, Chillin'.

A Robotic Sentinel continues to brave the elements

Images of Guardians of Zaqistan

That evening Landsberg and Sisson did basic repair and maintenance on the Robotic Sentinels after which they bedded down inside the dome and became the only people to witness both a Zaqistan sunset and sunrise.

The first Zaqistani dwelling

Sisson doing the National Pastime with the National Beverage

Zaq Landsberg looks gazes over his nation

Images of Outpost: Zaqistan

The expedition crossed the Zaqistan United States border the next morning. After a rough but relatively uneventful drive back towards the dirt road the van had difficulty on a small sand dune just eight feet from the dirt road to the highway. While digging out the front tires Landsberg noticed that the right front tire had sprung a leek and was losing air. The pressure mounted: Sisson had to catch a flight in Salt Lake City later that night, the road was at least 10 miles away and the nearest town more than 40 miles off.

Another, more desperate operation ensued. The wheels had dug deep into the sand and efforts to get the wood boards under the wheels resulted in the boards snapping in half and then half again. Again the van was stripped of seats and cargo and anything that could possible provide traction was shoved under the wheels. After three and a half hours in midday sun a combination of the broken wood boards, floor mats, sand bags, thorn bush and cardboard finally freed the van from the sand.

At Highway 30 the jack, slathered in mud and then covered in sand from the last two incidents, locked up and refused to budge. Each expedition to Zaqistan has been equipped with a bicycle pump to let some air out of the tires to provide more traction on sand should the vehicle get stuck. With few options left, Landsberg and Sisson proceeded to pump the tire up with a bike pump every ten miles and limping in to Montello, Nevada and changing the tire there. Sisson did make it to his flight on time, but in Zaqistani fashion, cut it uncomfortably close.